Without you

(A short introduction: I am an Italian fan of Lis, so I ask you to be understanding and don’t stop reading just because you have seen a mistake. Said this, I really hope you will enjoy my work, and, if you liked it, I invite you to post a comment below. Enjoy the reading. )

22 July 2013

“How dare you talk to me that way, Chloe ?!” David Madsen was on a rampage.

“Are you fucking kidding me, David? Cameras in my house? I’ll never let you do that! ” Chloe stared at him aghast.

The atmosphere in the Chloe’s room grew tense in an instant.

“I do it for you and your mother, Chloe, to protect you, if you’d let me …”

“Let you do what, David? Spy on our lives twenty four hours a day? As if you don’t do it already? I’m afraid, but the answer is no. ”

David barely restrained his anger, when, from downstairs, came the sound of a door opening, then a voice announced, “I’m hooome.”

David walked to the edge of the door.

So, gritting his teeth, he turned back to Chloe and, with an accusing finger, said:

“You know it’s not up to you to decide the rules in this house, but out of respect for your mother I had decided to hear your opinion before confront Joyce. Now I understand that it was a mistake.”

You are the mistake, David.”

Chloe would have none of it.

Fuck you, you and your shitty cameras!”

Then, with unnecessary force, she slammed the door and went to lie down on the bed with her face on the pillow.

For a while, she tried to listen to the dialogue between David and her mother, but all she managed to capture was only a few incomprehensible whispers.

She decided then to give up. She got up, took a reed, and began to smoke lying down on the bed.

Chloe laid her eyes on the ceiling.

When she was sad, her thoughts always flew to Rachel, to her whereabouts at this time, what she was doing, with who she was living her experiences, her life… If she still had one…

And in this way her thoughts turned to Max, her best friend who abandoned her. Who knows where she was now… If she had already replaced her with somebody else, If she sometimes still remembered the friend who had abandoned without restraint…

Chloe turned off the barrel. From below, she could hear a great bustle.

David and Joyce had started arguing.

Chloe was not surprised:

Her mother had never liked coming observed, just as she had never liked David’s obsession for control.

For her this was the perfect signal to leave the house.

She decided then to get out of the house from her room’s window.

 

Walking down the sidewalk with her head full of thoughts, Chloe was levied by a voice that she haven’t heard in a while.

Heey, Chloe!”

She looked up slowly, and, with wonder, she saw Justin smiling not too far from her.

Then he took the skateboard that held vertically with his foot, threw it, jumped on, and began to hurtle in her direction.

After some kickflip and some heelflip, he was soon alongside her.

Yo, Chloe, it’s a little bit ‘that we don’t see each other, eh ..?” He said while, with a clear shot of the toe, resumed in hand his skateboard.

“Yeah … Since Rachel is gone, right?” She replied quietly.

Justin, who was still picking up his skate, at these words said nonchalantly, almost slammed it in the ribs.

For a moment, he looks at Chloe sideways who had recommence walking without worrying too much about him.

Then, skating again, he began to follow her using small thrusts.

“D’you think this is how to talk with your old buddy, Justin?”

“Justin, I’m sorry, but today I don’t want to talk to anybody.”

Justin looked at her wrong for a while.

“What’s up? Have you forgot to take your dose today? ”

“No, and have YOU forgotten what day it is today, Justin?”

At these words both stopped walking.

Justin broke the silence for first.

“What do you think I was doing here all alone?”

Chloe turned to him.

“I don’t know… You was Thinkingremembering… As I was doing, I guess”

There was another moment of silence between the two.

“Forgive me for my shitty attitude, Justin, it’s just that …”

“You don’t have to apologize, Chloe, really. I don’t even want to imagine what it is for you to live all of this. You and Rachel was so close together. Already it’s difficult for me … ”

After a moment, he added:

“Today’s not the day, I understand it, but you must promise me that one of these days we will meet again, and then we’ll have a good talk, about me, about you, about skateboarding … And about Rachel.”

Chloe looked up and, for the first time that day, she smiled.

“Sure, I will come visit you in that school of losers which is the Blackwell, and that day, perhaps, you will show me some new trash.”

They said goodbye, then Justin resumed his fast darting road while Chloe resumed her own.

 

So, she came out of a small shop with little stuff, located not too far from there.

She went in.

The shop would look empty if it weren’t for the clerk at checkout and the man who could be seen a little from just behind the shelves.

Chloe looked around.

The shop was in poor condition. Dirty shelves, encrusted floor and expired products were proof, but Chloe didn’t care.

She just wanted what she had coming for.

After a few minutes she found everything needed, even in more acceptable terms. She puts it in a bag, and headed to the cashier to pay the amount due.

Yet just around the corner Chloe discovered who was the other customer in the shop.

It was a blow to the heart.

She found herself in front of Frank Bowers, the man with whom she has a big debt to repay.

But he will not start even vote. He was limited, indeed, to observe the shelves closest pretending not to see her.

But he seemed not to even notice her. He was limited, indeed, to observe the shelves closest pretending not to see her.

Chloe, who also would have to be considered lucky, seemed, rather, almost outraged. But when she noticed what Frank was holding in his arms, her wide mouth could not resist.

“You know that what you’re holding in your hands is poison, right Frank? Or you’re too stoned to realize that what you’re buying is not drugs? ”

Frank’s eyes seemed blankly into space.

“I will not ask the money you owe me, Chloe, not today, but I strongly recommend you to leave me alone if you don’t want to end up in serious trouble.”

Frank remains calm in a way that Chloe doesn’t like at all.

There was something suspicious beneath. Frank would never refused to ask for his money, him, that was always ready to ruin her day.

She wanted to press him.

“Wait, have you decided to dealing even that shit now? Or are you just trying to kill somebody? ”

Frank didn’t even blink.

“It’s obvious that you don’t know anything about it, Chloe. These pills are only to lose consciousness to those who eat them. These pills are lethal only if taken in large amounts, and you’re wrong if you think that are destined to someone else … These are for me. ”

Chloe was bewildered.

“You want to kill yourself, asshole?”

“I want this day to end.”

He replied without emotion.

“And if I will ingest enough pills to kill me… I’ll get over it.”

Frank looked deadly serious.

“Now leave me alone.”

Chloe wasn’t too surprised by the words of Frank. She didn’t care about him, and if indeed he had committed suicide, all the better for her.

So she turned, and without worry, said:

“Go ahead… You will not miss to anyone.”

Frank, as calm and unruffled that he was a moment before, went purple by anger. He turned to Chloe, and, with a look that would have terrified even the most hardest of criminals, he took the collar of her shirt with a snap and slowly approached to him.

Chloe was terrified, she had never seen Frank in that condition. She wanted to scream to call for help, but her stubbornness forced her to stand up to his eyes that, little by little, were getting closer and closer . She tried to free herself, but Frank was like stone. When, then, Both found themselves facing each other very closely.

It had never happened to Chloe to see Frank like that, with the purple, anger face, the pulsating vein on his temple, red eyes and teeth clenched in an angry sneer.

She was sure he would kill her.

But Frank, who seems about to scream out loud, he merely whispered with his alcoholic breath:

You’re… wrong.”

And, with a sudden jerk, he dropped her to the ground.

While she was trying to recover from the shock, Chloe followed Frank with her eyes. She saw him head for the checkout and then leave the shop a moment later.

Fucking nutcase.” Whispered Chloe to herself while she got up from the ground and flapped away the dust from her clothes.

She headed for the checkout. She only want to pay the amount due to never come back on that shitty store.

The clerk gave the impression of having heard the conversation between Chloe and Frank, but it was clear that he won’t give a shit.

Once paid the whole thing, and putting it in a plastic bag, Chloe was about to go. When the clerk greeted her with a shy:

Have a nice day.

Chloe, in response, stretched his free arm and, without even turning around, raised her middle finger as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and so, she left.

 

She was almost there …

She had tried not to think about it all day, but before long, she could be free to unburden herself.

Not missing much…

How much time had passed since he had last seen Rachel? Three months? Four? It didn’t matter. It seemed already an eternity without her.

Only a few more steps …

“I cannot believe that I am going to do all this without her … No, never mind. No matter if she isn’t with me. No matter if thisn will make me suffer. I will do it anyway. ”

She was arrived.

The landfill. Finally, she was in her secret lair , where she could be herself without caring about anything or anyone.

But, that day, even the sight of her “special place” would haven’t helped her to heal the pain that Chloe felt inside.

She headed for the old hut that she and Rachel were used to use as “hideaway” from everything and everyone.

She went in, and sat on the old armchair.

She began to observe the room when, suddenly, she had a fit of nostalgia.

Everything from the graffiti on the walls, to the leaflets scattered around the room, until getting to the confusion over the table, reminded her of Rachel.

She didn’t want to do it. She knew that you would just felt worse. She knew it would end up feeling even more alone.

But then she thought of Rachel.

She thought of when Rachel had helped her fight her depression, her loneliness. She thought of how much was grateful for all the love that her angel had always given to her each days. A genuine and pure love, the kind that Chloe had not felt since her father had left her alone.

Finally she decided.

She picked up the plastic bag, put it on the table and began to empty it of all its contents.

So, one by one, Chloe pulled out a saucer not longer than 40 cm, a small pie larger as the plate, a small tube of icing for cakes and some candles.

So, she puts the pie on the plate and formed a perfect circle with candles at the edges of the pie, which lit it with his lighter.

But when she took the tube of icing, she slowly began to cry.

He didn’t stop, so, despite the blurred vision, she wrote something on the cake.

When she saw his work as a whole, her heart began to beating in the chest.

She didn’t know how much longer she could held back the tears.

All Chloe knew was that she had to finish what she was doing, and, despite being alone, and maybe it would have been for ever, she would have to do it without crying, there would be time later for that.

Then, between sobs, she took strength and, with a sincere smile, whispered:

“Happy birthday, Rachel.”

So, with a single breath, she turned off all the nineteen candles towering over the cake with the same words written above.

When Chloe emerged from the hut, darkness came, and the rain was falling all over Arcadia Bay.

She had no more tears to shed, and that’s why the sky was crying for her.

She left nothing in the hut of what had brought.

But, unlike when she came in, now there was a note under the shelf of the bookcase next to the window, which said:

“I WANT TO DIE.”

 

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