Do you feel like a hero yet?

You raise your hand and watch as reality takes an unexpected turn and starts to run backwards.

You don’t know it yet, but you try to go back to save what anchors you to a past of brighter days and pirate tales.

There is anger in her features but not hate and you can’t help but feel like no time has passed; like it was just a pause and resume and even if her anger burns cold it will melt. A photograph with a blue butterfly is all that takes.

Like in a loop, following a path you saw before in your dreams, a doe guides you to the end of the way. As her voice breaks with the word “Destiny”, snowflakes fall and you can’t understand how something that beautiful can be the chrysalis of a massive disaster.

But now she’s safe, alive and right next to you. And you smile every time she calls you SuperMax.

Do you feel like a hero yet?

Warm memories and mysteries to solve. You test your powers as a red drop caresses your lips. Bottles and bullets are not good companions, untold stories travel with you by train. You see the warning behind your eyelids and a panicked voice screams your name. The train comes and goes and even if you tried and failed, tried and failed, you think you did it.

You saved her again. Bonded for life, partners in crime, partners in time.

Do you feel like a hero yet?

You can’t imagine that as rain starts to fall, you’re running out of time.

You arrive just in time to see an angel fall over and over, proving how twisted the world has become. How innocence is crushed and cold smiles turn into horrified mocks. They record it over and over, as if the image of the falling angel could ever leave your thoughts.

Try. Fail. Repeat. Try. Fail. Repeat.

And the world freezes like it was captured in a polaroid.

The angel looks at your face stained with red; an accusing look on her eyes because even if you have powers, you’re no goddamn hero.

One mistake and there will be no way to fix what’s now broken under the rain.

The eclipse dyes the sky red, and maybe, in some timelines, a candle for the angel is lit.

Do you feel like a hero yet?

You see bright days and pirate tales differently under the night sky, under the moonlight. You can feel how they change now, as her lips touch yours under the morning sunlight and you can’t deny, you want her safe, happy, fixed.

You see her fall apart as she faces reality and you can see how deep the cracks run, how deep the wound is, how it’s still bleeding fear, like anger fuel. You promise yourself to fix it, out of love, out of friendship, because she deserves better than the pain that you bring.

But chaos theory is a funny thing.

Reality collapses, the universe is torn apart and your own little world falls to pieces the moment you realize your love hurt her again, this time beyond repair. In your desperation to help, you caused so much suffering that the image of your love asking you to end it is too much for you to take.

Do you feel like a hero yet?

Try. Fail. Repeat. Try. Fail. Repeat.

And the universe is ripped to shreds as you try to fix it, but every time you try, it ends up more broken. The consequences are more than you can confront and you escape to fix it, one more time, leaving part of you behind with her. A part of you that will never recover.

A polaroid burns into the fire as he leaves through the door to die a second time. Pause and resume, reality around you becomes again what it was supposed to be, but at what cost?

A trail of blood, photographs and a doe lead you to her grave, remnants of what once she was. The irony of her unadvertised presence right under your feet.

She’s gone and no power can fix it. You see your best friend collapse again, the weight of the whole universe clashing against her shoulders and making her small and vulnerable. How many times do you have to see the person you love suffer like that?

Because what doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead and either way, you can’t let go of her. Not again. Because you did before, twice. And part of you died with her, too.

Try. Fail. Repeat. Try. Fail. Repeat.

Max, do you feel like a hero yet?

Madness takes over, hate breaks the dam and the lost lamb will pay the Price in blood. You don’t know what to do, so you just tag along because what else can you do?

Two moons are bright in the sky. And an unanswered phone call will claim defeat.

Second in a row, you have one more to go. A bullet to the head – and she again is gone.

You see your lover escape between your fingertips like future dust, once again her blood taints your hands.

You failed. You failed again. You keep failing. But you keep trying.

Tell me, Max. Do you feel like a hero yet?

You keep trying because you want to fix it. That’s what you do. You break it. You destroy it. But against all odds, you are trying. You are still trying.

Try. Fail. Repeat. Try. Fail. Repeat.

The door of the Dark Room, where your nightmares live, is wide open, welcoming you.

She’s dead. She’s gone. And that’s the only thing you can think about. The dark around you is oppressive, it cages you. His sadistic smile makes your blood run cold and the madness, bright in his eyes, makes your skin crawl.

And against all odds, you fight. Because there is no way everything will end like this. There is no way she’s dead. There is no way you’re dying, too.

You force yourself to your last breath. Your head is spinning; realities confuse you until you reach a point where you don’t even know when you are. It doesn’t matter how much blood it takes. It doesn’t matter if you have to walk through the haze. You push, you fight, you tore it apart until there is nothing left of you. You see the destruction you caused, you see the storm unleash all its force around you.

Even if reality must be destroyed in order to achieve what you want, what you need… there are higher prices to pay.

TRY. FAIL. REPEAT. TRY. FAIL. REPEAT.

Answer to me, do you feel like a hero yet?!

A farewell hug and one more time jump. You see her beautiful pissed off face and she’s alive.

She’s alive. Breathing fury. Broken inside. But the simple act of air filling her lungs is all that matters to you. Because she’s your number one priority now. And you already made your choice.

Whether you keep trying to fix it, even if it kills you, or if you defy fate once more and claim not any more, it’s a decision only you can make.

No matter what you chose, there is no right decision to make. She says that you’re her hero, you always were. What’s left to decide? If it doesn’t kill you now it will kill you later. You will end up polarized either way.

So you chose the thing you can’t live without. Whether you make the decision with your heart or with your head, either way the price is paid. You will always have the voice in the back of your head. And there is no way to forget the horror here.

Because there are thousands of deaths on your hands.

Or only one that matters all the same.

Because a troubled boy was murdered in cold blood.

Or ended up in jail.

Because a bullied girl couldn’t take it anymore and jumped.

Or you brought her back to life.

Because you avenged one death with another.

Or with a lifetime in prison.

Because you tried to help at first, but your dark side took over and you didn’t even notice.

Because nobody should have this power, ever. You didn’t want it. You didn’t ask for it.

You didn’t ask to be a hero.

Heroes are people we look up to. Heroes are those that push, against all odds, whatever the cost, to do good. But you’re no hero, you’re human. You have your flaws, dark tones, and lovely bright spots. You suffer, you struggle, you smile and you love…

And either you’re an anonymous hero like her, to a town of strangers.

Or her only real hero in life…

Answer me, please…

Do you feel like a hero yet?

 

___________________________________

Happy b-day, Max Caulfield…

Here? I’m the punk queen of Arcadia Bay, of course.
In real life, I’m an artist, gamer, crappy musician, game dev and a wannabe writer. Oh, and I’m always running late. MaiQueti in a nutshell.

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Birk Brenøe

Hello Chloe Price (Co-Admin)! i greet you now in becouse i am in distress and in need of help! i would love to join in the fun and sadness of the discusion of life is strange but i have a problem… i can’t log in or create a new account… when i try to log in i just get the massage that i have the wrong password, but when i try to change it it says i have the wrong username/e-mail… i have a lot that i would like to chat about so i would like it if you could… Read more »

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Birk Brenøe

i don’t know if you did anything but i can register again now…