Kate Lives in us
Kate Marsh lives in my heart forever.
Episode One of Life is Strange completely altered my world. I remember barely starting episode 2 before I went to bed and waking up the next day to Alt-J playing in my head ‘Something Good.’ I hadn’t had such a truly surreal mind altering experience since, since I can’t remember when.
I suddenly had entered entirely into the world of Max Caulfield, and it was exactly what I needed in my depressed state to understand exactly how to overcome all my problems in the world. The doors to the world around me were now unlocked and I could do something about everything!
I’ve always been a firm believer in the ability to solve problems and this game gave me all the tools to do so. People may be confused as to how a simple game about some girls in high school allowed me to breakdown deeply rooted social and mental barriers that had plagued me since my early teens. The connection was what made it work, everything connected to something in my world. Max was my inner creative side that I so desperately wanted to exhibit upon the world around me. Chloe was the repressed rebel in me that I always wanted to unleash on everyone. Kate represented my inner demons, the part of me that needed to fight the repression of all I had done to myself growing up.
Episode One created an environment that enveloped me in nostalgia and episode two took that world and shattered all my preconceptions about life.
It was the crucible that opened old wounds at all portions of my life and healed them simultaneously. I had a whirlwind of emotions as I fought to keep Kate from jumping off of that rooftop. I felt myself strangely fighting for myself, fighting to keep myself from ever thinking like Kate. It made me angry how people had bullied her to that point and it was so clear that I had done that same thing needlessly to myself at many points in my life.
This game became everything I needed to bring myself out of the deepest depression I had ever suffered from. That’s saying a lot. It’s as if this game gave me back a new lease on life and it was my personal rallying cry to taking back everything I wanted so desperately to do with my life in the world before I got depressed. I had everything back again!
Going through severe depression and losing everything you wanted in life is extraordinarily tough.
I deeply empathize with Kate Marsh and any others who went through that brutally challenging experience. That’s why I became a counselor on this site. I committed to doing something about this serious problem that we’re faced with in everyday life. So many people suffer from severe depression and our response to it in society is just completely not satisfactory whatsoever.
The Kate Marshes of the world deserved better. I believed in that for myself and I believed in this for others. I committed myself to finding a way to doing something to help them. It hasn’t been easy and it’s been very difficult to learn basically from scratch and just my intuition and my personality to understand how to help those around me overcome their problems. It truly is one of the most complicated and least well-understood problems of our world today. I study engineering at college and in comparison to engineering, psychology is many times more complex in layers involved. When dealing with people suffering depression, you never know exactly what the best way to help them is because they don’t understand their own problem themselves. I never want to make the problem worse for anyone that I try to help and often times I err on the side of being overcautious.
I personally know that putting a mind back together is not an easy or quick process. My brain went through stage after stage of recovering from my depressive state. It truly is mind boggling how simple things can become nearly impossible to someone suffering from depression. Something as simple as doing laundry becomes something that just cannot be done because it seems too stressful for some reason or another. You just want to continually lie down and rest and not do anything because life just feels like crap all the time.
I want to stand up for all those in the world who cannot stand for themselves and help those who are silent share their voice.
There are so many loud people in this world. The quiet ones are the ones who have some of the most interesting perspectives, though. Communication is such an important skill to learn and having the confidence to share one’s ideas when fear of judgment and unnecessary negativity is still so close to heart.
Sharing requires courage of the heart. I want to inspire people to be courageous in sharing their ideas and not to fear those who would throw negativity our way. We fear judgment because we acknowledge all ideas and opinions about ourselves equally. A stranger’s negative opinion can be much stronger than the encouragement of many of those closest to us. We have to fight against this irrationality, however. Fight to realize the ones that matter in our lives are the ones who care about us most.
This may seem like common sense, but believe me… nothing is common sense to somebody who is depressed. We have states of clarity and then depression. Moments where all logic makes perfect sense and then in the next instant everything feels awful again and nothing really matters.
People deserve better than the hatred that so many are unjustly faced with in our world. What good does it do to throw heaps of criticism and hate on people just trying to do something with their lives? Criticism needs to be directed at people who can handle it. Communication needs to be used appropriately and with proper context.
“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.”
Frank A. Clark
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
A productive attitude is difficult to cultivate because it goes against many basic self-preservation natures of humanity. We mentally want to defend our own ability to feel like we’re successful and that we have meaning and importance. Some people lose the ability to defend themselves and they’re open to all forms of mental assault even their own. This isn’t inferiority it’s just that some people don’t have the same growth and development as everyone and we all have our strengths and focuses in life that makes us who we are. I think the real stupidity are the people who blame others for not knowing everything already. It’s such a common thing to pick a specific element that somebody isn’t good at and make it seem like they’re less of a human being just because of that one lacking trait or ability.
We all need to improve and I think it’s time we all grew up to realize that there isn’t any universal way to truly characterize someone’s inherent worth as an individual based on superficial observation.
We all have our own unique story to tell the world and those lessons we learn from life are ours and ours alone. We each have information that is valuable to somebody else who has never experienced something that we have had a chance to understand very thoroughly. We have a finite amount of time in the day and nobody has enough to read all the books in the world or understand all the possible experiences that we can possibly have. This is why we communicate, to share the value of these ideas and give others the help they need to be able to better interact with the world around them without having to go through or experience the same suffering we faced during that period.
Why is it that our emphasis seems to be so competitive? I understand we exist in a capitalistic world and an evolutionary survival of the fittest world, but we have got to think much bigger than our day to day life. Humanity has got to evolve out of this close minded approach to fighting about solving common issues. It’s like we think it makes us so much better to not tell others how they can help themselves be a better person. This logic is extremely short-sighted and emotionally motivated to make us feel like this is a good thing to do. Being selfish and hoarding information makes a lot of evolutionary sense, but in the modern age, it makes very little sense thanks to the globalized way our society works now. We’re not fighting each other to the death in everyday society. I know crime, violence, and wars are still very present in the world, believe me, my country starts plenty of wars. That doesn’t make it right or make any sense at all to mentally murder each other over information that will only benefit each other in the long term.
We all obviously have to fight for what we believe in, but we need to recognize there is common ground.
I write this blog because I personally believe in building a better community here at Life is Strange Fans.
We have our definite issues here in our community, every community and organization and family have them. The key thing is how we deal with those issues together and collectively come up with a solution to the problem. Common ground is the important thing. We have to remember when we were younger. When we had our eyes still wide open to all the possibilities that existed to us in the world. As we age we have a serious tendency as humans to get jaded and locked into our ways.
That’s what Life is Strange gave back to me. I returned to an age when any kind of change was possible in my mind because it was still so malleable.
I don’t think a lot of people realize just what it means to age mentally. Once you have ‘all grown up’ it seriously deprives you of options. I’m glad I was able to barely avert growing up. It was seriously close to me never getting a chance to become all the things I desired to be in life. I almost closed the door on all my hopes and dreams and settled for much less because I thought it was all I could get in life. Max let me rewind my mind.
I want to rewind minds. I want to make life strange for many people in the world because oh God they need it. So many people are locked into their mindsets and it is such a dangerous way to be. Growing up is seriously overrated in my opinion, growing up is for people who just want to stay exactly how they are for the rest of their lives and not be dynamic at all.
I am a very dynamic person and I aim to constantly change as necessary to help better change the world around me to make it a better place for everyone in my world around me. It’s been my goal since a small child to be good at a great deal of very complicated things. I wanted to learn how to create almost anything. I struggled with attention and impulse control as a very young child and who knows what kind of conditions I could have been diagnosed with given the way I acted. It caused me to struggle a great deal with the subjects that opened many doors for ‘intelligent’ people and gave careers to my peers because they were better equipped to solve the problems. I always looked at the bigger picture, how things interconnected together and how everything was a kind of complicated art of creating the answer to any problem.
Life is like one big problem solving equation and if you understand all the fundamental rules involved, it becomes a simple manner to solve any situation and make the most of things for everyone involved. At least I think so. It’s kind of the thinking I got from Life is Strange and how there are an infinite number of possibilities and paths we can take at any one moment and there is always a more efficient better result, it’s just not likely to happen because of the chaos involved in life. We have to come to terms with the fact that we only can do so much and our solutions are always going to be insufficient.
People who suffer from depression need our best solutions. They represent the best possible potential for growth. It kind of makes me sad to see how much people chase after people who are already so successful. Successful people honestly don’t need a lot more help, it’s the people who are unsuccessful who struggle the most and have the most need to make small progress. Small progress for these people is infinitely more progress than they’ve experienced in such a long time.
I put a lot of interest in the potential of human beings. It’s a good thing I did, because when I was younger I did not have as much potential as most of my peers. Nobody else my age invested in me the way I try to invest in those around me now. I really want to encourage that investment of time. It’s not who we are now that counts, it’s who we can become in the future that really matters. There is something in mathematics called the derivative and it is a way of understanding the rate of change of something. How fast something changes with respect to something else. I want to increase people’s rate of change with respect to their surroundings. I don’t want people to stay stagnant and forever stuck the way they are today.
I try and do this for myself. I have many of my own personal issues I struggle with and I want to say that I’m sorry I’m not better at changing. I’m honestly always trying to put my best foot forward and do everything within my ability to do something about my mindset and my situation I face every day. I have allowed so many little things to pile up and get to me and prevent me from being a better person than I can be. I’m really sorry to all those that have no doubt been wondering why I haven’t been more active lately why I haven’t been here when they needed help growing as individuals. I fight my nature constantly and I want to be the absolutely best that I can be. I will continue to try harder than I have in the past. I want this for all of my friends. I want to be the best friend I can be, and I am so sincerely sorry I have not contacted everyone I want to. I try and do everything in the day and be as impossibly productive as a humanly can in a day and I always find that I have so much time I wasted that I could have more efficiently used in some way shape or form. How wasteful of me not to use those few minutes between eating breakfast and walking out the door to head to college to do something I’d been meaning to get done. I don’t need to explain or justify anything, this isn’t me trying to prove anything, I just want my desires to be clear. I want to commit my time to helping people and sometimes I fail at this because I have needs that are selfish.
I have a very selfless attitude that got me into a lot of trouble a year ago because I didn’t know how to properly prioritize myself over helping others. I got myself overworked and overstressed because I was not able to keep up with the workload. I don’t recommend that to anyone in the world, you always have to focus on yourself and get yourself in a decent footing before you can really help people. Otherwise, it’s just the blind leading the blind. What this should be to everyone is not an excuse not to help people, but a reason to get ourselves to a point where we can help others as quickly as possible. Sometimes we do have to be the one who is not qualified to take on responsibility, we’re not prepared for because everyone else is just as unqualified to help. Somebody has to stand up and be an everyday hero in the world and I challenge us all to be that person.
We’re going to be launching Kate’s support club very shortly on this site and I intend to do my best to make it the very best and most helpful support resource that it can be for people. Because to state it quite simply.
I want Kate to live. She deserves a home and people to call her family.
Save Kate Marsh. Help those like her to recover from their struggles.